A piece of Advice

Who told you it couldn’t be done, and what great achievements has he performed that qualified him to set up limitations for you?

You will find as you go through life that those who give advice most freely are precisely the people who are least qualified to do so. Busy, successful people don’t have an interest in telling you how to live your life. They are busy living their own. Failures or mediocre people have all the time in the world. They also delight in seeing you fail, and are quick to say “I told you so” when you experience a temporary setback. If someone tells you that what you are attempting to achieve is impossible or not worth the effort, take a close look at them and what they have accomplished with their lives. The chances are good that you will find they haven’t done much. Successful people are optimistic people. They have the habit of success because they learned long ago to listen to themselves and not to those who would like to see them fail.

This was a post on the most famous brick-less wall in the cyberspace or as you might have heard “The Facebook Wall”, by a friend of mine. Every time I see some one mentioning anything about  “The Facebook Wall,” it leaves me wondering if it is more popular than “The Great Wall of China.” It probably might as well be more popular, considering the intelligent levels of many teenagers who use Facebook (as far as I’ve noticed). Pardon my “our generation is superior” attitude shown if you are a weak hearted representative of the fittest species of all – the Homo Sapiens, and  younger than myself and if it did hurt your feelings. It was deliberately mentioned for the sake of making a funny and mean comment just because I can and it is free! As an Indian, I do like anything that is free and as a part-time ignorant idiot, I do things just because I can (Just kidding 🙂 ).

This friend of mine, who I used to consider as just another useless, worthless human being wasting his god-given potential in his silly adventures to seek false pleasures of life. May be it was my exaggerated superiority complex I had then. Though it still peeks out from inside me from time to time, I somehow have managed to control such biased and morally incorrect manifestations of my ignorance. Finally, I’ve learnt the meaning of my father’s words – “Do not ever underestimate any one.” I shall reveal the truth here – I despise stupid people. I simply cannot tolerate people who really are stupid. Having said that, I must also admit that, I’ve learnt that every one is unique and everyone has their own talents and specialities. The time I spent on analysing myself and my ideas for 4 years after the painful breakup I had, has opened my eyes to my mistakes and I believe has increased my intelligence, and analytical skills.

May be this is exactly why I should show gratitude to the invisible supernatural being who lives in and rules over the so-called “Heaven” with an existence neither proven nor unproven by any one. But as the old Tamil proverb, which an old female poet wrote allegedly a f, says:

«அன்னையும் பிதாவும் முன்னறி தெய்வம் » (One’s mother and father should come even before God.)

Most probably (taking the liberty to consider you an individual, who is psychologically healthy and stable guy unlike some extra creepy psychopath serial killers with childhood deprivation of parental love and care) just like your parents, mine brought me in this evil world and gave me a lot of troubles and restrictions in my childhood that I used to hate as a child and understand as I grow up, which eventually shaped me up into who I am today along with my excellent teachers who held my hand all the way till today. I believe, I should thank them before thanking the invisible fellow.

Thank you Mother, father, teachers (Especially, those who taught me in my school [VHSS]), and oh I thank the invisible fellow as well. It is because you guys, I am who and how I am today (I wanted to add “With very high intelligence and etc., etc., but then decided against it, ’cause I don’t want to risk being found as an imbecile suffering from extreme superiority complex”). I also feel the urge to thank my beloved brother, who is more of the eldest son in our family than my brother, for always telling me the words I need to hear, regardless of their bitterness and keeping me in line.

If My memory serves right, it was Buddha who said that, “Life is short. Time is fleeting. Realize the Self. Purity of the heart is the gateway to God. Aspire. Renounce. Meditate. Be good; do good. Be kind; be compassionate. Inquire, know Thyself.” or something along the lines.

I still cannot admire him enough for such a thought which in my opinion is the juice of our life, or more precisely, the way of life. For a few years before I fell in love with Elizabeth, the queen of my heart and soul and for the records is much special and better than any other queens that ever lived, lives and will live on our small planet, I was very much impressed by the thoughts of Buddhism and was wanting to find myself and the meaning of my supposedly meaningless life, by pursuing path of a Buddhist monk. So, please forgive me if I’m a little too much pro Buddhist philosophy and ideas. I believe I’m completely neutral, logical and unbiased regardless of I being fond of Buddhism, its principles and teachings.

At that particular period of my life, if I would have found a proper Buddhist temple in Moscow, I might probably be a monk today with a shaved head in Scarlett red and yellow outfit. However, I’ve preserved the moral values and lessons learnt from the words of Buddha and his disciples. Regardless of your religious beliefs, in my humble opinion, which apparently is rarely humble , good morals gained from the words of Buddha will definitely make you a better person as any other religion. Please do not take my word for it, feel free to search for “Buddha quotes” on http://google.com or follow this link: Search Google for Buddha’s Quotes ) and get instant meaningful reading materials from the search giant Google Inc.

So my friend, Mr. Paras Rana, the founder, proprietor, CEO, CFO, etc., of EurasiaExim (An international import export and educational services company registered in many countries), who I still think is wasting his potential, posted that meaningful piece of advice on his “Facebook wall”. Though I do and noticed others post some meaningful advices and motivational quotes to sound intelligent (most of those idiots copy and paste famous quotes of some great minds and pretend to have thought of it on their own, unlike me and my friend Mr. Paras Rana), only a few of these posts do actually get you thinking for a few minutes. Let alone driving you to write a blog post about it. Though the post is not saying anything that we don’t already know, how many of us did actually gave a thought about it before reading it from his post? Let me thank him for giving my brain some thing to digest and get my silly little mind off the problems I face.

Now to the core issue that’s being addressed in his post – Advice and it’s significance (Oh well, it sounds better this way and gives an interestingly serious ring to it.) I do not recall any one who likes being advised in their early days, especially in their teen years and early twenties. We humans are dangerously prone to underestimate others and look down on others as if we are somehow more intelligent, handsome etc., than all the others – as if we are very special and better than almost all the rest of the representatives of our species – the Homo Sapiens. It has been the most common reason for wars in the past and have claimed countless lives. Since I’ve taken my time to think about and analyse myself, I’ve preserved my urge to strive to not err in such manners and started seeing the people I already know in a different light.

A few years back, if Mr. Paras Rana were to give me any advice, I’d most definitely ignore them and might as well be rude enough to let him know that I didn’t give a crap about his thoughts or his advices. But now, I have grown up to see the positive side of Mr. Paras Rana, whose name is still associated with a cartoon image of amateur alcoholic who never cares or respects money – A spoilt kid from a rich family, deep inside my mind at a subconscious level. A couple of months ago, when I met Paras after almost half a decade, I sat for couple of hours doing nothing thinking about the reasons behind such an image being associated with his name.

Surprisingly, I couldn’t recall anything other than the stories and baseless accusations made by a certain batch mate of mine, who I know to have done many mischievous things to Paras years ago as he was spreading stories about the infamous Paras Rana and his evilness. I could even remember the many lies that I heard about him and his behaviour. I shall give both parties benefit of doubt since I did not witness any of it to vouch for. Those stories might be as much true as it might be fake. But, since they did not and do not affect me in any way, however difficult it might be, I shall try to erase all those baseless prejudices against a person who I think is a friend and well-wisher of mine,. Though highly embarrassing, past cannot be changed and admitting our mistakes, makes us a better person. I also wish to take this opportunity to Apologise to this idiot friend of mine. I’m so sorry Paras, for having had, and still have such thoughts about you.

Regardless of the residual effects that still haunt my heart, two months after my decision to erase all prejudices against Paras, I’ve slowly grown up to recognise the noble heart of his and his thoughts enriched with high moral values and intelligence, which all of us should think and analyse. Buddha said,

“Do not blindly believe in everything. Do not blindly believe even in what I say. Do not believe me because others convince you of my words. Do not believe anything you see, read, or hear from others, whether of authority, religious teachers or texts. Do not rely on logic alone, nor speculation. Don’t infer or be deceived by appearances.”

We are the masters our own mind and body. We have a very powerful organ called brain, and it is given to us for a reason. Since we are too quick to claim our species as the most evolved and most intelligent living being on our planet, It is only just to use it and think, analyse, and decide on our own.

Main problem of us – the Homo Sapiens is that we often forget to follow our own words. Most of the people who read the aforementioned rather meaningful post by my dear Paras, probably are blaming some body else in their minds for giving free and false advices. Just to make a little tuning to the well thought out thought of him, I shall be bold enough to take the liberty to add some thing of my own and count on his neutral reaction (Most people simply cannot take criticism and unfortunately can never admit their mistakes).

We should not forget to heed our own advice and we should always think twice before giving some one a false advice for free just because you can and it is free!!! Resist your Indian instincts!! Free advices are given by us to others and others to us. We should work on both ends to keep up fairness. I am pretty sure that every one of us can think of instances when we gave free and unnecessary advices without even having a clue, just for the sake of giving an advice.

Though most free advices come from those who have not achieved much of anything in their lives and are least qualified to give any advice at all, we should not and must not disregard all the advices given to us alike and certainly should not err by underestimating any one. My thoughts on this matter is quite similar to my friend’s, but I do not agree that you should not care about what others around you have to say about anything.

I do agree that each of us live for our own selves and should always make decisions on our own, but using the main centre of our central nervous system to think about the advices given by even a guy, who is an example of complete failure, and analyse the truth in it. Feedbacks from others are usually rather useful. As I write this post, I think I’ve not made any mistakes in it thus far; however, some one else even with a much lesser fluency in English, might actually point out a few mistakes in it. It always is easy to see what is wrong when you step aside and see from a 3rd person’s point of view. For those others who we might regard as failures, useless idiots and such, our mistakes might be quite visible while we are blind to them.

Having said that, We have reached the end of this post and I’d like to end this post by reminding you that the best way to fight with pointless advices or suggestions is to stop giving such to others. If we want to change the world, we should change ourselves and our mentality first. Please press the turn on switch of your brain, think, use your logical & analytical skills to calculate all the possible and impossible options you have regardless of their origin, if you cannot find the switch, you are either mentally ill or in love, so please do yourself and every one else a favour  and visit your psychiatrist :p. Do not ignore the options you pulled out of the inferior end of your digestive tract or those that were given to you by others. Remember the words of Buddha:

Do not blindly believe in everything. Do not blindly believe even in what I say. Do not believe me because others convince you of my words. Do not believe anything you see, read, or hear from others, whether of authority, religious teachers or texts. Do not rely on logic alone, nor speculation. Don’t infer or be deceived by appearances.



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