Exams are over now and it is time for a vacation and some rest. I have a lot of free time and I should prepare myself for some licensing examinations or at least the MCI screening test which I plan on taking next September. Some how I find it pretty hard to concentrate. I’ve been doing things with no interest or concentration. A lot of thoughts fill my mind. Memories of her fill my thoughts.
I keep on thinking “What is she doing now?”, “Is she smiling?”,”Is she happy?”. I sit alone and think about her smile and I count the hours that passed by, since I last saw her angel face. It is a miracle that I held myself together for so long without making her laugh at my silly jokes. Life feels empty with out the feeling of her presence in my proximity. To live the rest of my holidays alone with her not being here seems almost absurd.
She did promise to call me from home, but I’m almost certain that she already forgot everything about me and her promises in the overwhelming joy of being home. She made it quite clear that she is quite committed to her boyfriend, but I still cannot make up my mind to think of anything else. I’ve been told by many to move on, but obviously I cannot move on.
I hope I’ll be able to pull myself together and make my vacation useful somehow. I’m not a big fan of vacations as they make life boring. Summer vacations are the worst since I do no like to get my butt out in the summer heat. With deserted hostel and I not wanting to go out in the day time, I expect to have a pretty lonely and boring summer vacation.